Never Really Leave
by WinterSky101
Summary: Keith keeps seeing Shiro, first only in the Black Lion, and then everywhere he goes. Shiro's trapped in the mindscape, and his connection with the Black Lion - and the Black Lion's burgeoning connection to Keith - is the only way he's going to make it out. Post-Season 2 AU.
1. Chapter 1

**This fic is in two parts - the second chapter should be posted sometime in the next couple of days.**

 **A quick warning - through the first chapter, Keith thinks that he might be going insane, or that someone might be messing around in his mind. If either of those aspects might be triggering to you, please proceed with caution.**

 **Title comes from this quote from _Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban_ : "The ones who love us never really leave us, you can always find them in here."**

* * *

Keith goes to the Black Lion two days after Shiro's disappearance.

He doesn't _want_ to. He wants to keep piloting Red, he wants Shiro to come back, he wants things to go back to the way they were. He doesn't _want_ to negotiate his way in to Black's cockpit and fly as the head of Voltron.

But he knows full well that there's no other option. Shiro is gone, and even though they're looking for him desperately, someone needs to take up the mantle of Black Paladin until he gets back. Shiro told Keith repeatedly that he wanted Keith to be in charge if anything happened to him, and so now everything's up to Keith.

"Damn you, Shiro," he mutters under his breath as he enters the Black Lion's hangar. "Damn you for making me do this."

The Black Lion is huge, bigger than Blue and Yellow and significantly bigger than Red. Keith feels very small as he steps up to her, trying to remember how he got her to let him in last time. Shiro was in trouble, and Black had let Keith in so he could save him.

This time, Shiro is gone, but Keith's going to do everything he can to try to save him again.

"I know I'm not Shiro," Keith says quietly, putting his hand on the Black Lion's paw. "I know I'm not your Paladin, and you probably don't want this any more than I do, but _please_. Shiro's gone, and we're going to need Voltron to get him back."

Nothing happens. Keith takes a slow, deep breath, and then lets the air out. He closes his eyes and tries to reach out, the way he reaches out to Red. He can feel Red distantly - she's not any happier with this new arrangement than he is - but he tries to reach out to Black this time.

 _Please._

Keith feels something brush against his mind, and then the Black Lion's head lowers. Her mouth slowly opens, and Keith steps inside.

The cockpit looks just as it did when they all rushed into it after the battle, when they found that Shiro was gone. Keith's breathing a little too fast, but he forces himself to calm down. The Black Paladin is supposed to be in control at all times. If Keith's going to fly the Black Lion, he needs to be in control of himself.

He sits down in the seat and watches the dashboard light up. Cautiously, he reaches out for the controls. He can feel the Lion begin to vibrate as Black powers on. In the corner of his mind, just tentatively, he can feel that Black is ready to do whatever it takes to get her true Paladin back.

"Guys," he says over the comm. His voice is hoarse. "Black let me in."

He can hear Allura's sigh of relief. _"Good,"_ she replies. _"You should go out for a test flight. Lance and I will join you in Red and Blue."_

In another corner of his mind, Keith can feel Red, decidedly disgruntled at having Lance as a pilot. Honestly, he thinks Allura might be a better fit for the Red Lion, but Blue's already accepted her, and Red, after quite a bit of convincing, is allowing Lance to pilot her.

 _"Keith, quit hogging Red,"_ Lance complains. _"I can't bond with her while you're still in her head."_

Keith tamps down on the urge to snap in response. He's supposed to be the leader now. He needs to be better than that. "Are you ready to go out for a test flight?"

 _"Ready when you are,"_ Allura replies.

"Are you ready?" Keith tentatively asks the Black Lion.

Black roars, and Keith pushes forward as they leap out of the hangar. Piloting Black is different from piloting Red, but Keith wasn't the best pilot in his class at the Garrison for nothing. He can figure it out.

 _"Woo!"_ Lance yells as Red leaves the Castle. _"Red is_ fast _!"_

"Careful with her!" Keith snaps automatically. He doesn't doubt that Red is entirely capable of pulling control away from Lance if he does anything too stupid, but he'd rather not have Lance crash his Lion.

 _"Killjoy,"_ Lance retorts.

Allura is more careful with Blue, flying a bit more tentatively. Keith wonders if that's what he and the others looked like when they flew their Lions the first time. Still, she gets the hang of it quickly, and before too long, she's zooming around with Lance.

"How about you?" Keith asks Black. "How fast can you go?" He feels Black rumbling underneath him, and he pushes the thrusters to their full capacity and _flies_.

Black isn't quite as fast as Red, which Keith is going to have to remember. She isn't quite as maneuverable either, but she's more armored than Red. Flying her doesn't feel as natural as flying Red does, but that's probably because of the level of removal that Keith can feel between his mind and Black's. Both of them would rather Shiro be there as the Black Paladin, and it keeps them from wanting to bond too closely.

But they have to get over that if they want to be able to fight the Galra, so Keith takes a deep breath and tries to reach out more towards Black. _Come on,_ he thinks. _We might not like this, but we both know there's no other choice._

He can feel Black relent and open herself more up to him. For a moment, it reminds Keith of his early bonding with Red. He reaches out even more and feels Black let him in.

Then he sees something out of the corner of his eye, and he whips around, accidentally dragging the controls with him and pulling Black in a wild arc, because he could _swear_ that was-

Allura and Lance are yelling in the comm, but Keith barely hears him, too busy looking around the cockpit. That looked like- But it couldn't be- But for a moment, he was _so sure_ …

He'd only caught a glimpse of the figure, just out of the corner of his eye, but his mind told him it was Shiro.

"What was that?" he asks Black hoarsely. "What- Was that you?"

He thinks he feels a thread of confusion, but he pulled away from Black at the same time that he spun around in the chair, so he's not sure.

His hands are shaking.

 _"Keith, are you alright?"_ Allura is yelling in the comm, and Lance is complaining that he should _"warn us next time before you pull something like that, Mullet-head!"_ and Keith takes a deep breath and tries to focus.

"Sorry," he rasps. He tries to swallow, but his throat is dry. "I-"

What is he supposed to say? _I think I might be going crazy, because I swear I just saw Shiro_? He's supposed to be in charge now. He needs to be stronger than that.

"I'm still getting used to piloting Black," he lies. His hands are still shaking.

 _"Are you sure you're alright?"_ Allura asks.

"Fine," Keith replies. "Let's keep flying for a bit, then we can call the others out and try to form Voltron."

Allura and Lance go back to testing the capabilities of their new Lions, and Keith leans back in the chair and takes a shaky breath. He doesn't have time for this. He's supposed to be leading Voltron. He can't start having hallucinations of Shiro. He has to be stronger than that.

"Let's try again," he tells Black. His voice is just barely trembling. He ignores that and reaches out for Black, hoping he won't see Shiro this time.

Black lets him in a bit more easily this time. Keith feels them tentatively getting closer, their fledgling bond growing every second. When he thinks it's strong enough that he might be able to form Voltron, he tells Pidge and Hunk to bring their Lions out.

"We're going to try forming Voltron," he tells everyone. He just hopes he won't be the weak link.

The Green and Yellow Lions join the others outside quickly, and for a while, they all just fly in formation. "Alright," Keith finally says. "Allura, Lance, are you two ready?"

 _"I think so,"_ Allura replies.

 _"I was born ready,"_ Lance brags.

"Okay," Keith says. He takes a deep breath. "Alright, team, let's form Voltron!"

Forming Voltron as the head is different from forming it as an arm. It requires more concentration and a deeper bond with both his Lion and his fellow Paladins. Keith can manage the latter, but he's having some trouble with the former. He tries to bond more deeply with Black, and he thinks he almost has it, and then-

He can clearly see that the figure is Shiro this time. He sucks in a harsh breath and feels himself yank away from Black, just like he did before. _He does not have time for this_.

 _"Uh, Keith?"_ Hunk asks. _"You okay?"_

"Fine," Keith replies. His voice is tight and almost shaking. "I think Black and I need to bond some more before we can form Voltron."

 _"We can try again tomorrow,"_ Allura offers. _"I think it's about time for dinner anyway, isn't it, Hunk?"_

 _"Yup, dinner is cooling in the kitchen right now,"_ Hunk replies. _"Should we go back in?"_

It takes a moment for Keith to realize the question is directed towards him. "Yeah," he replies. "Yeah, let's go back to the Castle."

They fly back, Red rocketing forwards as Lance tests her speed. Keith resists the urge to snap at him to be careful again. The other Lions follow, with Black at the back. Keith still doesn't feel right in the Black Lion, and he's worried that another attempt to bond with her will lead to another hallucination of Shiro. But he knows he needs to connect, because if he doesn't, they won't be able to form Voltron. This is something bigger than him alone. He needs to do his part.

The other Paladins chatter over the comms as they land their Lions in the hangars. _"Everyone ready for dinner?"_ Hunk asks, to eager cheers.

"I'm going to stay with Black for a while," Keith says. "Don't wait up for me."

 _"You sure?"_ Hunk asks. _"Dinner smells pretty good tonight, if I do say so myself."_

"I'm sure," Keith replies. "Black and I need to work on bonding. We need to be able to form Voltron."

 _"I'll save you a bowl,"_ Hunk promises.

"Thanks."

Keith stays in Black even after they've landed in the hangar. "We need to bond," he says aloud. "We need to figure this out or we're not going to be able to form Voltron when we need it."

He can feel Black offering herself out for him. Keith takes a deep breath, lets it out, and reaches back.

His bond with Black starts out, tentative, but it deepens, and deepens, and he presses his eyes shut because this is when he's been seeing Shiro. He can't afford to keep having these hallucinations.

"Keith," a voice says, and Keith's eyes shoot open just in time to see a flash of Shiro reaching out to him before he disappears again.

"What's _happening_?" Keith demands. He yanks off his helmet and rakes his fingers through his hair. "What's happening to me?"

Distantly, he feels Black trying to comfort him. Even more distantly, he feels Red trying to help, apparently aware of his distress even though he's not piloting her anymore. Neither of them feel quite as pressing as the churning in his stomach. Why does he keep seeing Shiro? He even _heard_ him this time, and he doesn't know why this is happening, but he knows it needs to stop. If he's going to be able to bond with Black, if he's going to be able to form Voltron, he needs to stop seeing Shiro every time he tries.

Or…

Ideally, he'd be able to stop the hallucinations entirely, but what he really needs to do is stop reacting to them. If he can just ignore the hallucinations, he'll be able to bond with Black and form Voltron. He needs to desensitize himself.

"Okay," he says to Black. "Okay. We're doing this again."

He opens himself up to Black and allows her to bond more closely with him. He thinks he catches a glimpse of Shiro in the corner of his eye, but he forces himself to focus on his bond with Black instead. He can't let himself-

"Keith," Shiro says, sounding desperate, and Keith's let go of the bond and whirled around before he's even aware of what he's doing.

"Damn it," he hisses. The hallucination is gone, just like they always seem to be when Keith tries to take a second look.

He tries again, and again, and again, and again. He has to focus on his bond with Black in a way he never had to with Red, and the second he loses focus, the bond dissipates. He's gotten better at ignoring the visual hallucinations, but the second he hears Shiro's voice, he can't help but react. He'll need to get better about that.

"Do you know why this is happening?" Keith asks Black. He only seems to get the hallucinations when he's bonded with her, so maybe she has something to do with it.

He deepens the bond enough to get an answer, which is also enough to see a faint hallucination of Shiro in the corner of his eye. He can sense that Black is worried about Shiro, and she's just as confused as Keith about the hallucinations. She doesn't have any answers, but Keith deepens the bond anyway, ignoring the hallucination the best he can. He tries his best not to listen when Shiro says his name, but when Shiro begs him to turn around, he can't help but do it.

He needs to be better. He needs to be able to ignore these hallucinations completely, or he's going to be a liability in battle. He needs-

"Number Four?"

Keith jumps. Coran is standing in front of Black, concern on his face. "Number Four, are you alright in there?"

Keith gets up, grabs his helmet, and steps out of the cockpit. Black obligingly opens her mouth and lets him out.

"I'm fine, Coran," he says as he goes out into the hangar. "Is something wrong?"

"No, nothing's wrong," Coran replies. "But you've been in there for quite some time! Nearly two vargas!"

Keith blinks. He hadn't realized it had been so long. "I was bonding with Black."

"Oh, good!" Coran cries. "We'll have Voltron ready to go again in no time."

"Yeah," Keith replies, hoping it's true.

"Well, Number Two saved you a bowl of food, and your fellow Paladins seemed to like whatever it was he made," Coran offers. "You should probably go and eat."

"Probably," Keith agrees. "Thanks, Coran."

Coran's smile is soft. He places a gentle hand on Keith's shoulder. "I'm glad to help," he says, and Keith is pretty sure he means more than just passing on messages about dinner.

Keith stands there for a moment, Coran's hand on his shoulder, then he offers Coran a wan attempt at a smile and heads to the kitchen. Everyone's already gone, probably in the lounge, but the promised bowl of food - some sort of stew that does, admittedly, smell very good - is sitting on the counter.

Keith picks it up and eats it right there, not bothering to sit. He's going to go to the training room once he finishes anyway. The Black bayard is a little different from his Red on in a way he can't quite pin down, but he needs to be sure he can use it just as well as his old one. In Lance's hands, the Red bayard is a rifle similar to his old one, and in Allura's hands, the Blue bayard has become a whip. Lance has gotten a hang of his new rifle easily, but Keith's still not as good with his new sword as he was with his old one. He needs to be better.

He finishes the stew and washes the bowl, setting it aside to dry. He avoids the lounge and goes straight to the training room, calling up a gladiator and materializing his bayard.

He doesn't see Shiro once. He tells himself that's what he wants.

* * *

It takes a full day of practice, but finally, they're able to form Voltron. Keith pointedly ignores the hallucination of Shiro that stands by his side. It's easier to ignore Shiro's voice when the other Paladins are chattering in the comms. Keith focuses on them instead.

After Allura practices being a leg and Lance practices being an arm, Keith decides to call it a day. "We've all been working hard today," he says, trying to channel his inner Shiro. "Good job, you guys."

Lance, thankfully, keeps his mouth shut. He's made a few choice comments about Keith's leadership skills - which Keith _knows_ are lacking and little more than a cheap imitation of Shiro, thank you very much - but it seems he's finally gotten the hint that he needs to stop. Keith is glad of it. Now that they've split back into their Lions, it's harder to ignore the hallucination of Shiro. Being combined as Voltron is a better distraction than just flying around in Black and listening to the others babble on about whatever dessert Hunk's trying out tonight.

Keith's always been a bit distant from the others, but now he feels that even more. He needs to be in charge, he needs to be an adult, he needs to _stop seeing Shiro leaning in front of him or he's going to lose his goddamn mind-_

"Go _away_ ," he hisses, glad he had the presence of mind to mute his comm earlier. "Go away, go away, _go away_ -"

 _"Keith, are you coming back to the castle?"_ Pidge asks. _"Hunk's cake sounds really good."_

Keith scrambles to unmute his comm. "Yeah, I'm coming," he replies. He pilots Black back to her hangar and heads to the dining hall to meet the others.

Halfway there, he realizes that Shiro is following him.

He stops and squeezes his eyes shut. When he opens them, Shiro is still there, looking at him with concern. "Keith-" he begins.

"No," Keith hisses. He closes his eyes again and grabs his head, squeezing like he can push Shiro out. He's not supposed to be there, Keith is only supposed to see him when he's in the Black Lion, not when he's in the Castle-

But his bond with Black is still there, in the back of his mind, stronger than usual after they formed Voltron earlier. That must be why Shiro is hanging around. Whatever's broken in Keith's mind, whatever makes him think he sees Shiro whenever he bonds with Black, it seems to be getting worse. As long as Keith has a bond with Black, he can see Shiro.

And considering he's supposed to be strengthening that bond, this is probably going to keep getting worse.

"Keith, listen to me," Shiro says, but Keith can't listen, he needs to be _better than this_ -

"Hey, Keith, wait up!" a voice calls. Keith lets go of his head and straightens up, trying to look normal by the time Pidge races up to his side.

"Hey, Pidge," he says, ignoring the fact that Shiro is standing behind Pidge's shoulder. "Do you need something?"

"I just figured we could walk to the dining hall together," Pidge replies. After a moment, she adds, "You know, just cause you're the leader now doesn't mean you can't hang out with the rest of us anymore."

"She's right," Shiro agrees. Pidge, of course, doesn't hear it, because it's all in Keith's head.

Keith makes the executive decision to ignore both of them. "Do you know what we're having for dinner? I know Hunk made cake for dessert, but I didn't catch what he made for dinner."

Pidge doesn't answer for a moment. Keith can see on her face that she's wondering whether or not to press the issue. Shiro would. Shiro looks like he's about to, a frown on his face as he stands behind Pidge and watches Keith worriedly. Keith very pointedly does not look at him.

"I think Hunk made a bunch of different things," Pidge replies, apparently deciding not to push. Keith isn't particularly surprised. "Everyone can have a bit of everything."

In the past few days since Shiro's disappearance, everyone's been dealing in their own way. Keith's been throwing himself into his work as a Paladin and the current leader. It hasn't been entirely working - Keith's nightmares and worsening hallucination proves that - but it's better than nothing. Pidge has been spending a lot of time in the Green Lion's hangar, working with her computers and going through every inch of Galra intel they've ever gotten. Lance has been drifting around the Castle, spending as little time alone as possible. Allura has been searching for Shiro, and Coran has been helping her make sure the Castle is in top form. And Hunk has been cooking, so much so that he rarely leaves the kitchen except for training. At some point, Keith knows he should probably try to get things back to normal, but at the moment, he's painfully aware of how hypocritical it would be.

It's only been a couple of days. They all need time.

"You're a good leader, Keith," Shiro says. Keith ignores him. He and Pidge walk the rest of the way to the dining hall in silence. Pidge keeps looking at Keith out of the corner of her eye and opening her mouth like she's going to say something, but she never does. Keith would feel bad that he's apparently intimidated her into thinking she can't talk to him, but he really doesn't want to talk.

Lance and Hunk are having some sort of discussion when they enter the dining hall. Allura and Coran are talking about something else next to them. Pidge piles her plate high with food and slips into Lance and Hunk's conversation seamlessly. Keith makes his own plate and sits a few seats away from them, eating in silence.

"Keith, you can't just close yourself off from everyone else," Shiro says, looking concerned.

Keith tries to push his bond with Black away. He knows he shouldn't, he knows he needs to bond with her more deeply to make sure they can fly well together, but he also needs to not be seeing Shiro right now. If he keeps seeing this hallucination, he's pretty sure he's going to completely lose any semblance of control, and if that happens, he won't be able to fly at all.

"Keith?"

It takes Keith a moment to realize it's not Shiro talking to him, and thus he should react to it. "Yes, Princess? Is something wrong?"

Allura is frowning, looking concerned. "You look pale," she tells him. "Are you feeling alright?"

Now the entire team is looking at him. Keith tries his best not to shrink under their stares, and he's mostly successful. "Fine," he replies. "You all did well today. Lance, tomorrow we should see if Red still forms a sword with your bayard, and if she does, you should work on fighting with it."

"Sir, yes, sir," Lance replies with a sharp salute. Keith grits his teeth, but doesn't rise to the bait.

"Allura, we should try running, so you and Hunk can work together on balance," he adds.

"Alright," Allura agrees. "Are you sure you're alright?"

"Fine," Keith bites out. He finishes up his food and stands. "I'll be in the training room, if anyone needs me."

Shiro follows him out. "Keith, they're just trying to help."

Keith shouldn't do this - he's in a hallway, anyone could see him - but he whirls around, jabbing a finger at the hallucination. "Look. I do not need this right now, okay? I am _this close_ " - he holds his fingers less than an inch apart - "to losing it, and I can't afford to do that. I can't afford any distractions."

Shiro looks stricken. "Keith-" Suddenly, he looks almost panicked, his eyes darting from side to side.

"Shiro?" Keith demands, worried despite himself.

Shiro focuses on Keith again, his face drawn. "Keith-" he says again, his voice urgent, then he's gone.

Before he can think better of it, Keith gropes for his bond with Black. Then he remembers that he's not supposed to be seeing Shiro anyway, and he's better off if he doesn't have a hallucination following him around, and he stops.

Shiro doesn't show up as he trains, but that doesn't stop Keith from looking for him.

* * *

Keith should have known the relative peace wasn't going to last.

He's not in his Lion, only Pidge and Hunk are in their Lions while he, Allura, and Lance are infiltrating the main Galra ship. They've split up; Pidge and Hunk are keeping the Galra warships busy with their Lions, Allura is hacking the main computers while Lance guards her, and Keith is freeing the Galra prisoners. It's not necessarily the ideal division of labor, but Pidge and Hunk are the most comfortable with their Lions and thus currently the best at fighting with them. Allura isn't as good a hacker as Pidge, but she's good enough for the job. Keith isn't the best at reassuring people, but Allura's more likely to need ranged support while getting the prisoners will require close-quarters fighting, so Lance is the better fit for her guard. Keith is the leader, so he has to be adaptable.

He's deep in the bowels of the Galra ship, nearly to the prison cells, when he realizes things aren't going to go according to plan. He can hear footsteps marching towards him, too many footsteps to be a routine patrol.

If he wants to free these prisoners, he needs to move faster.

He breaks into a run, turning on his comm as he goes. "How's everyone doing?"

 _"Allura and I are almost done,"_ Lance reports. _"A patrol of sentries just went by, but I don't think they noticed us."_

 _"Hunk and I are okay,"_ Pidge adds.

 _"Lots of heavy fire, but we're okay,"_ Hunk agrees.

Keith decides not to tell the others about the potential incoming danger he might be facing. It hasn't happened yet, so he has no need to worry the others unnecessarily. "Good. We all need to keep each other posted on how we're doing. If anyone needs backup, don't hesitate to ask." How that person would get backup is another story, but Keith would figure out a way. "Be careful," he adds, hoping no one comments on how hypocritical it is for him to say it.

 _"You too,"_ Allura replies, and that's that. Keith keeps running down the halls, reaching the prison cells fairly quickly. He presses his hand against the panel to unlock the cells. This is the one benefit of being half-Galra, he's found. His DNA is Galra enough to work with their technology, which is why all of the doors are opening right now.

"Everyone!" Keith calls. "I'm Keith, a Paladin of Voltron. I'm here to rescue you."

"A Paladin of Voltron?" a voice asks as an alien comes out of a cell. "Why would you come to rescue us?"

Keith has the feeling it would be rude to say that they're looking for specific prisoners and just freeing other ones as they go. "We care about the freedom of every being in the galaxy," he replies instead, remembering what Allura said to the last alien leaders they had to win over as part of their Voltron Alliance. "Now everyone, come with me."

The aliens all slowly leave their cells. There's almost two dozen of them in all. They should all fit in one escape pod, although it might be tight. All of them seem to be able to walk under their own power, which is good. It's always much harder to help the prisoners who are badly injured.

"Okay," Keith says. "Everyone, this way." He waves a hand and ushers the crowd of aliens down the hall. They move surprisingly quickly. Keith supposes the thought of freedom must be an encouraging one.

They're still not moving quite fast enough. Keith can hear the footsteps of the Galra sentries behind them. "Does anyone know where the escape pods are?" he calls.

"I do," a very furry but vaguely humanoid alien says. "But are you not coming with us?"

"There are sentries following us," Keith replies. "I'm going to go slow them down. We're almost to the escape pods, you'll be able to get there just fine."

A few of the aliens look distinctly panicked. "But what if we run into Galra?" one of them asks.

"Or what if we have to open locked doors?" another adds.

Keith grits his teeth. They're valid concerns, he has to admit that, but the footsteps of the sentries are getting closer and closer.

"Okay," he says. "I'll keep going with you for as long as possible. But we have to move quickly. As fast as you can."

The group moves faster now, practically running for the escape pods. Keith takes a note of who appears to be fastest. When they get in sight of the escape pods, he sends those aliens to go open one of them up and get it ready.

The sentries reach them just as the last aliens are getting into the escape pod. Keith growls and materializes his bayard, holding the sword at the ready. He grips his Marmora blade in his other hand, keeping it as a knife for now, then he throws himself forward and fights.

"Paladin!" one of the aliens yells a moment later. "Paladin, we are ready to leave! Get in!"

"Go without me," Keith shouts. "Get to the Castle of Lions. Go!" He turns on his comm and yells into it, "Pidge, Hunk! The escape pod is on its way out, be sure to give it cover!"

 _"Aren't you supposed to be on that escape pod?"_ Pidge retorts.

"Change in plans," Keith replies, stabbing a sentry through the chest. He doesn't have enough room to maneuver here. He needs to get to a better spot. Unfortunately, the Galra sentries aren't letting him do so. "I'll meet Lance and Allura at their rendezvous point."

 _"Are you fighting?"_ Hunk asks. _"Keith, do you need backup?"_

"I'm fine," Keith retorts, although the flood of sentries doesn't seem to be ending. "Just give the escape pod cover!"

He ignores Pidge and Hunk's jabbering and focuses on the fight in front of him. When there's a break in the endless flow of sentries, he starts sprinting down a hallway. If he can get to the spot where Lance and Allura are going to meet the Green Lion, he can escape with them. If not… Well, he'll figure something out.

He mows down every sentry in his path, glad that he's only meeting the robots and not actual flesh-and-blood soldiers. Sentries aren't anywhere near as good at fighting as actual Galra are. They're strong, yes, and they have lots of weapons, but they don't have instincts in the way that living creatures do. Keith relies on instinct more than probably any other single thing when he fights. It's an advantage over any robot. As long as the attackers continue to be sentries, Keith thinks he'll be able to get out of this.

He's nearly to the control room when he hears the familiar crackling. He hasn't faced off with druids as much as Shiro or Allura, but knows the sound their lightning makes. He tenses, then throws himself to the side just in time to miss the spell.

Druids, he knows from when he's fought them in the past, have an irritating tendency to disappear and reappear in another place just when Keith's about to stab them. If he's going to kill this one, he needs to be sneaky and fast.

Unfortunately, it's hard to be either when he has to fight all the Galra sentries as well as the druid.

He turns on his comm as he ducks away from another crackling spell. "Guys," he says through gritted teeth. "I don't think I'm going to be able to make it to the rendezvous point in time."

 _"What's happening?"_ Allura demands. _"Do you need help?"_

"There's a druid," Keith replies. "Go to the rendezvous point. Don't wait for me."

 _"We're not leaving you here!"_ Pidge yells.

"We don't have time! We know the Galra called for reinforcements, and you're already facing heavy fire even without that," Keith retorts. "You need to get out of here."

 _"Keith-"_

"We don't have time!" Keith yells again. He rolls under another spell and throws a sentry at the druid, not that it actually makes contact. But it does distract the druid for a moment, long enough for Keith to turn down a hall and start sprinting along it as fast as he can. "If I can make it to the rendezvous, I will. If not-"

 _"Keith, we're not leaving you,"_ Hunk says, sounding surprisingly firm.

"Reinforcements will be arriving any minute," Keith snaps, ducking another spell. "You need to go. I'll be fine."

 _"Keith-"_

"Go!"

Keith knows the second the reinforcements arrive; Pidge and Hunk start yelling a lot more on the comms, and another troop of sentries starts running towards Keith from the other end of the hallway. He turns left and hurtles down another hall, slamming his hand against a panel to unlock the door at the end. He closes it behind him and locks it again. It won't stop the Galra for long, but it should be enough to give Keith a moment of peace.

The room he's entered has a huge window along one side. Through it, Keith can see the Green and Yellow Lions fighting the Galra ships, with the Castle laying down some covering fire. If everything's gone properly, Lance and Allura should be in the Green Lion by now.

"Guys," Keith says, looking down at his bayard,. "I'm in a room with a big window. Can you lock onto my location?"

 _"Done,"_ Hunk replies. _"Give me a second before you blast out of there, okay?"_

Keith looks at the door. He doesn't know how close the sentries are to getting there, but their footsteps are getting dangerously close.

"Hurry."

Keith can see the Yellow Lion getting closer, blasting the Galra ships out of the way. He adjusts his grip on his sword and gets closer to the window. He'll have to break it open to get through, which would probably actually be a better job for a gun, but he'll have to make do.

"Hunk, you ready?" Keith asks. He can hear the Galra footsteps right outside the door.

 _"Ready in a moment,"_ Hunk replies. _"Alright… Just one more second…"_

Keith draws his sword back, getting ready to strike.

"Okay, Hunk, I'm-"

Druid lightning hits Keith in the back and he _screams_ , pain ripping through his body. It doesn't end, it won't _stop_ , it just _hurts_ -

"What a treat," a horribly familiar voice coos. "A Paladin of Voltron, right here for me."

Everyone's screaming in his ears, but Keith barely hears them. The pain finally dulls - it doesn't stop, but at least he can think - and Keith crumples to the floor in a heap.

Haggar smiles as she leans over him. "Yes," she says, gathering more purple lightning in her hand, "I think you'll do quite nicely."

 _"Keith!"_ he hears. He recognizes Hunk's voice, but he doesn't have enough air in his lungs to respond. _"Keith, I'm coming-"_

Then lightning hits Keith again and the world goes white.

* * *

Keith wakes up with his wrists cuffed together, in a heap in front of Haggar. "Awake, are you?" she asks as he pushes himself onto his knees. "About time."

Keith looks around. He's in a cell, empty but for him and Haggar. At least, as far as he can tell. He knows Haggar is skilled at creating illusions, so he can't trust anything he sees.

"What do you want?" Keith asks, his voice hoarse. "We defeated Zarkon. We beat you. It's over."

"Oh, is it?" Haggar asks. She grabs a handful of Keith's hair and pulls on it so he's looking up at her. "Foolish child. Our empire still stands, and Prince Lotor is just as interested in getting Voltron as his father was. You haven't won a thing."

"We'll defeat Lotor just like we defeated his father," Keith snaps. "You're not going to win. Even if it takes another ten thousand years, we'll defeat you."

"Strong words for someone in a cell," Haggar replies. "How will your friends be able to form Voltron when they're missing a Paladin?"

Which, Keith thinks, is a bit strange. Wouldn't this be where Haggar bragged about getting her hands on two Paladins? Unless… Did she have nothing to do with Shiro's disappearance? If that's the case, Keith has no idea what could have happened to Shiro, but perhaps he's not with the Galra.

"Trying to think of a way out?" Haggar asks. "Don't bother. You're not getting out of here."

She pulls tighter on his hair, so tight that it feels like she's going to rip it out, then she puts a clawed hand against the side of Keith's face. He tries to pull away, but she digs her claws in and holds him in place. A moment later, she lets go and cackles.

"Just so you don't get any ideas," she tells him. For a moment, Keith doesn't know what she's talking about, then unbelievable pain explodes behind his eyes. He doubles over, grabbing his head, as Haggar leaves the cell. He refuses to scream, but an embarrassing whimper does manage to escape. For what feels like a century but is probably only a few minutes, Keith can barely even breathe for pain.

He hates to admit it, but Haggar was smart to cast her little spell. He definitely would have tried to fight his way past her when she left the cell. He probably wouldn't have succeeded, but this cuts out the possibility entirely.

When the pain finally fades, Keith sits up, leaning against the wall of the cell. He doesn't know where he is, not sure if he's on the same ship as before or a different one. He doesn't know what happened to the others.

Hunk had been about to get him off the ship. He wouldn't have left without a fight.

As long as Keith is stuck in this ship, the others can't form Voltron. They're vulnerable.

Keith is a terrible leader.

He closes his eyes and leans his head back. If he were still flying Red, he's pretty sure she would have come to his rescue by now. Their bond was so strong that, no matter where Keith is, she would have been able to find him. Now, with Lance piloting her, their bond is significantly weaker. Keith might still be able to reach her if he tries hard enough, but Lance has complained that it's difficult for him to pilot Red when Keith's bonded with her, so Keith doesn't do it unless he knows Lance isn't flying. In this cell, he has now way of knowing what Lance is doing. He's not going to risk it.

He reaches out for the Black Lion instead. They're not as close, but maybe, if Keith really tries, he'll be able to reach her. He's always been a bit more attuned to the Lions than the others - a byproduct of his Galra heritage, Coran claims - so maybe, just maybe…

He thinks he feels something, maybe, but it's too slippery to be sure. He can't get a tight enough grip to actually communicate with Black, not that they've been able to communicate that much anyway. It was a long shot. He's not altogether surprised that it didn't work.

"Keith?"

No, no, no, Keith can't deal with a hallucination of Shiro right now, he needs to be focused, he needs to think of a way out of here, he needs to figure out a way to get past Haggar-

"Keith, are you okay?"

Keith opens his eyes. Shiro is leaning over him, looking almost beside himself with concern. "Oh, thank God," he says when he sees Keith's eyes open. "Are you hurt? Did Haggar do anything to you?"

Keith stares. How does Shiro know that Haggar is the one who took him? A moment later, he realizes that it only makes sense, since Shiro is all in his head, and obviously he knows who took him.

Unless…

Keith is pretty sure he's been having this hallucination of Shiro for a while now. He's pretty sure that it started the day after Shiro's disappearance, when he first went to try to pilot the Black Lion. He's pretty sure Shiro pops up whenever Keith tries to bond with Black.

But Haggar is skilled at creating illusions, and Keith doubts it's beyond her powers to give him false memories. For all he knows, he's never actually seen this hallucination before, and this is all her doing, a way to distract him so he can't escape. She _did_ say he wouldn't be able to get out. Maybe this is why.

"You're not real," Keith says. His voice comes out hoarse. "You're not real. It's just Haggar messing with my head, you're _not real_."

"What?" Shiro sounds stunned. "No, Keith, I'm not Haggar, it's me, Shiro. I'm-"

"No," Keith interrupts, talking over the illusion. "No, no, you're just another one of Haggar's tricks-"

"Keith, you've seen me before!"

"She's trying to make me think that, I need to be _better_ -"

"Keith-"

"Go _away_!" Keith yells, curling forward and gripping his hair in his hands. He squeezes his eyes shut. Hopefully, when he opens them, Shiro will be gone.

Shiro is looking at him with concern on his face when Keith opens his eyes back up. "Keith, it's _me_ ," he says gently. "I can reach you through the Black Lion. That's why you see me whenever you bond with her. I'm real, I promise."

" _Stop_ ," Keith begs, his voice ragged. He feels the urge to cry, but he refuses to give Haggar the satisfaction. "Stop, you're not real, it's just the witch messing with my head, just _stop_ -"

"Keith, _please_ ," Shiro begs. "You're freaking out, buddy. Calm down."

"Go _away_ ," Keith hisses. He tries closing his eyes again. Just like last time, it doesn't work. Shiro is still there when he opens them.

"Keith-"

The door to the cell opens. Two robot sentries come in and grab Keith under the arms, dragging him out of the room. When he tries to fight, one of them jabs at him with an electrified prod, which keeps him from fighting pretty well.

"Let him go!" Shiro yells at the sentries. Neither of them seem to hear him at all. Of course, if Haggar has put him into Keith's head, that would make sense. No one else can see him, after all.

The sentries drag him into a big open room. There are chains hanging from the ceiling in the middle of it, and Keith's not surprised when they're closed around his wrists. "Don't you touch him!" Shiro yells, but since it's just in Keith's head, he's ignored. The chains are high enough that Keith can just barely stand on tiptoe. If he doesn't, all of his weight is on his wrists, which is incredibly painful and a bad idea if he wants to try to fight his way out. Standing on tiptoe isn't particularly comfortable, but it's better than hanging.

A huge Galra enters the room. Haggar slips in behind him. For a moment, Keith wonders if the Galra is the Prince Lotor that Haggar mentioned, but the others don't seem to be treating him with enough deference for him to be Zarkon's son and heir. It's more likely that he's just a brute who's in charge of beating Keith up when he doesn't comply with the incoming interrogation.

Judging by the look of horror on Shiro's face, he seems to have the same idea. "Keith," he says desperately, "just tell them what they want to know. It'll be alright, just don't antagonize them."

It seems like a strange thing for Haggar's illusion to say, since she's clearly out for blood, but if she's trying to make it sound like Shiro, she's dead on. Keith ignores it, just as he would ignore it if Shiro were really there, saying that to him. There's no way he's telling the Galra anything.

"Where are your fellow Paladins?" Haggar asks.

"Don't know," Keith replies.

"Surely you must have an idea."

"None at all."

The huge Galra's fist sinks into Keith's stomach. The air is pushed out of his lungs in a startled huff. Keith's pretty sure the punch snaps a rib.

"Does that refresh your memory?" Haggar asks.

"I'm not telling you anything," Keith replies, his voice low and sharp. "No matter what you do."

Haggar's lips curl into a smile that makes Keith's blood run cold. "Is that so? Well, we'll see about that."

"Keith," Shiro begs desperately. "Keith, just tell them what they want to know. You'll be fine, the others will be okay, we'll figure out how to deal with it, just _tell them what they want to know_."

If Haggar wants Keith to give in, she's going to have to try harder than that. Keith sets his jaw and prepares for pain.

Haggar cycles through the same few questions - where are the other Paladins, where is the Black Lion, what are their future plans - but it's not long before the interrogation devolves into complete brutality. Shiro begs and yells and threatens in turn at Keith's side as he's punched, kicked, and beaten. Finally, _finally_ , a sentry steps up and undoes the chains around Keith's wrists, letting him fall to the floor.

"Keith, Keith, are you okay?" Shiro demands, falling to his knees next to him. "Keith, why did you _do_ that-"

The sentries grab Keith under the arms and drag him out of the room and back to his cell, where he's left in a heap. Shiro reaches out to help him up and looks horrified when his hand only goes through Keith's shoulder.

"Are you alright?" Shiro demands. "Did they hurt anything vital?"

"I'm fine," Keith replies, too exhausted to deals with this. He's not going to tell the illusion much, but maybe it'll go away if he plays along. "Couple bones broken, a lot of bruises, but nothing that'll kill me."

Shiro leans back on his heels, watching Keith with an eagle eye as he drags himself upright. "You're talking to me."

"Not worth fighting it anymore, is it?" Keith counters. "Either you're something broken in my head, or you're something Haggar's making me see, but either way, there's no harm in answering questions like these."

"Keith, I'm _real_ ," Shiro says gently. "I don't know how, but I got stuck in this… alternate universe or something. I don't know how it happened, but I'm still bonded to Black, so I can bond to you through her. I promise you, Keith, I'm not lying."

Keith lets out a sigh and leans his head back. "Well, whether it's my brain or Haggar coming up with that, it seems a little farfetched."

"So does the fact that we're piloting giant robotic Lions to fight evil aliens," Shiro counters.

Keith huffs out a laugh. "Touché."

Shiro sits down next to him, leaning against the wall. "I'm proud of you, Keith."

Keith scoffs. "Great, so now my brain thinks I'm so pathetic that I need your validation to keep going."

"Keith," Shiro scolds. "I am proud of you. You're doing a good job of leading Voltron." Shiro sighs and leans his head back, just like Keith. "It wasn't fair of me to put all that on you. I'm sorry."

"Come back and we'll call it even," Keith says before he can help himself.

Shiro sighs. "Keith, believe me, if I could, I would."

"You're not real," Keith says, closing his eyes. He's gotten dangerously close to forgetting that. "You're all in my head, or you're Haggar's illusion, you're _not real_ -"

"Keith!"

It's not Shiro's voice that calls his name this time, but Lance's. For a moment, Keith wonders if a hallucination of Lance has joined his hallucination of Shiro, but then the door to his cell slides open. His hallucinations can't do _that_.

"Keith, come on, buddy, we're getting out of here," Lance says, entering the room. Pidge is behind him, holding a Galra sentry's disembodied hand against the control panel. "Holy crow, Keith, what happened to _you_?"

"Galra interrogation," Keith grunts. "How'd you find me?"

"Apparently, Pidge here has added tracers to all of our armor," Lance replies, giving Pidge a look.

"Hey, I'm not going to apologize for trying to make sure that we don't lose anyone else," Pidge retorts.

"No, it was a good idea," Keith replies, hissing as Lance pulls him upright. He drapes an arm over Lance's shoulders and limps out of the cell. "We need to be fast. Haggar's on the ship."

"We'll be fast," Lance promises. "Anyway, I'd like to give her a piece of my mind. You know, a little-" He does some sort of strange motion that Keith thinks is supposed to be flexing, or perhaps punching someone.

"Wouldn't give her too much of your mind, or there won't be any left," Pidge mutters.

"Ex _cuse_ me?"

"Guys," Keith interrupts, finding himself in the Shiro-like position of ending fights instead of starting them. "Let's get out of here."

"Yeah, right," Lance agrees. "We came in on the Green Lion. Red wasn't happy about that, let me tell you. I thought she was going to burst right out of the hangar!"

Lance continues to babble on about how much effort it took to get Red to calm down, but Keith's looking at Shiro now, who's watching them with a fond smile on his face. "You're a good leader," he remarks again. "I know I've been saying that a lot, but it's true."

Keith resists the urge to reply. He doesn't want Pidge and Lance to think he's going insane, even if he might be. Instead, he lets them lead him to the Green Lion, then lets Lance take a look at his wounds while Pidge gets them out of there. It's a surprisingly easy extraction. Keith is pretty sure it's _too_ easy.

"We got your bayard, by the way," Pidge tells Keith. "And your knife. And your helmet."

"Here," Lance adds, putting them down by his side. "Because God forbid you not be armed for once in your life."

"Thanks," Keith replies. "Anyone else think this was a little too easy?"

"Speak for yourself!" Lance protests. "We took out like four squadrons before we got to your cell! Pidge had to hack into everything to turn the security off! I had to fist-fight a Galra!"

"If by 'fist-fight,' you mean punch him once before I got him with my bayard, then sure," Pidge replies dryly. "You had to fist-fight a Galra."

"I did punch him, and it hurt!" Lance protests. "It's fine, Keith. We're out. Don't look a gift Lion in the mouth, dude!"

"They're right," Shiro adds, and Keith's eyes go wide. "You're fine, Keith."

"What are you still doing here?" Keith hisses.

Lance and Pidge look at each other warily. "Uh, Keith?" Pidge asks. "Who are you talking to?"

If Shiro is still here- If Haggar's illusion is following him-

"This was too easy," Keith grits out. "Haggar did something to me while I was on the ship. She might still be able to get into my head."

Lance and Pidge share a significantly more panicked look. "Um, okay," Lance replies. "Okay, so what do we do now?"

"We'll deal with it back at the Castle," Pidge replies. "Allura should be able to fix this."

"We'll lead Haggar right to it," Keith retorts. "We can't-"

"Keith, my man, it's a ship too," Lance replies. "Maybe Haggar will know where the Castle _was_ , but we'll move it, so she won't know where the Castle _is_."

Keith shakes his head. "It's too risky. If Haggar can get in my head-"

"There's nothing the three of us can do about it," Pidge replies firmly. "The only one who can fix this is Allura. Her magic powers should be able to deal with this. Anyway, you _really_ need a cryopod."

"Pidge-"

"We're staging a coup," Pidge states. "We're in charge now. And we're taking you back to the Castle."

"Ooh, so can I be in charge?" Lance asks. "I can _definitely_ be a good leader."

"Lance!"

"I would be great! Anyway, I wanna try being the head of Voltron for once. It's not fair that Keith gets to do it and the rest of us don't."

There's a slight smile on Shiro's face. "Lance seems the same as ever."

Keith resolutely closes his eyes, blocking out the illusion. "Pidge," he asks, "do you know if you can darken the visor on my helmet? I don't know if Haggar can see through my eyes, but…"

"Give me a sec," Pidge replies. "Lance, give me his helmet."

Keith hears Lance pick up his helmet and hand it to Pidge. She mumbles something, then lets out a triumphant, "Aha!"

"Did you do it?" Keith asks.

"Yeah, cause I'm amazing," Pidge replies. She must pass the helmet back to Lance, because Keith feels him press it into his hands. He puts it on and cautiously opens his eyes. The visor is dark enough that he can't see a thing.

"Thanks, Pidge."

"No problem," Pidge replies.

"Keith, I promise, I'm not an illusion," Shiro says, which proves exactly nothing. Keith continues to ignore him. He's not a huge fan of not being able to see, but it's better than letting Haggar see through his eyes. He doesn't like the idea of leading Haggar back to the Castle either, but Pidge and Lance seem fairly resolute. He just hopes they don't regret it.

The Green Lion, thanks to the cloaking capabilities Pidge has installed, gets back to the Castle of Lions without a problem. Lance helps Keith off the Lion, which is good, because Keith doesn't think he'd be able to even stand up on his own.

"Keith!" Allura cries the second he stumbles into the room. "Oh, thank goodness!"

"Keith!" Hunk adds. "Dude, I'm so sorry I couldn't get you out of there, but there were a bunch of Galra on my tail and Haggar took you away before I could get to the room-"

"It's fine, Hunk," Keith interrupts. "It's not your fault."

"Come with me," Allura adds. "Coran is getting a cryopod ready, just follow-" She stops abruptly. "Why is your helmet darkened?"

"Haggar did something to my head," Keith replies. "I- I don't know what, exactly, but she might be able to see what I'm seeing."

"Can you get rid of it?" Pidge asks.

Allura sounds determined. "I can try. Come on, let's get you in a cryopod, and I'll deal with the spell."

Lance helps Keith through the Castle until they reach the cryopods, where Coran takes over. "You gave us quite a scare, Number Four!" he says conversationally as he pulls Keith's helmet off. Keith keeps his eyes pressed shut. "Now, you just get in here for a couple of vargas, and you'll be as good as new!"

"I'll get the spell off you, I promise," Allura adds.

"What about the spell _you_ put on _me_?" Lance asks in the horrible tone he seems to think is flirtatious.

Keith is glad when the cryopod closes and cool oblivion washes over him, because at least he doesn't have to listen to Lance's terrible pick-up lines anymore.

* * *

 _Keith opens his eyes in the Black Lion's cockpit. He's pretty sure it's a dream, but something about it feels very real. "What is it?" he asks. He can feel Black in the corner of his mind, so he pulls the bond to the forefront. "Is something wrong?"_

 _"I asked her to do this," Shiro says._

 _Keith whirls around, startled, then relaxes. "So is this a dream or a hallucination?" he asks. "Or a combination of both? You haven't died horribly yet, so I'm thinking it's not a dream."_

 _Shiro looks horrified. "Keith, that's-" He collects himself with obvious effort. "It's not a dream or a hallucination. Or, I guess it's sort of a dream, but_ I'm _not a dream."_

 _"So, are you Haggar's illusion?" Keith asks. "I guess Allura hasn't gotten rid of the spell yet."_

 _"I'm not an illusion," Shiro tells him. "Listen, I don't understand this entirely myself, but… Do you remember when you and the others all went to the space mall to get the scaultrite?"_

 _"What about it?" Keith counters warily._

 _"I stayed here to bond with Black," Shiro replies. "She took me to… It was some sort of mindscape. I don't know where, and I don't know how, but I fought Zarkon on it. Black saved me. That was how we deepened our bond enough that Zarkon couldn't track her anymore."_

 _Keith frowns. "So what? Is that mindscape where I am now?"_

 _"No," Shiro replies. "It's where_ I _am."_

 _Keith blinks. "I don't understand."_

 _Shiro huffs out a laugh. "Neither do I, but I'm pretty sure that's what's happening. The Black Lion has been helping me a bit, but I don't know how to get out. I need your help."_

 _"What am I supposed to do?" Keith counters. "How do I even get to this mindscape place? How do I know this is real? If you're Haggar-"_

 _"I'm not Haggar."_

 _"-Then this could be a trap."_

 _Shiro puts a hand on Keith's shoulder. Unlike in the cell, he's able to touch him now._

 _Keith would know Shiro's touch anywhere._

 _"Even if you're not Haggar," he says, his voice rough, "this could still just be a dream. How do I know it's real?"_

 _"Ask the Black Lion when you wake up," Shiro replies. "Bond deeply with her. She'll be able to confirm all of this. She might even know how to get me out."_

 _Keith presses his lips together and tries not to cry. "Shiro," he finally says when he thinks he can open his mouth without sobbing, "you know I would do anything to get you back, but…"_

 _"Just ask the Black Lion," Shiro tells him. There shouldn't be enough space for him to kneel in front of Keith, not when the chair is right up against the console, but this is a dream, so space is fluid. Shiro puts his hands on Keith's knees and looks up at him with desperation in his eyes. "Please, Keith, you're the only person who can get me out of here."_

 _Keith grips the arms of his chair as tightly as he can to keep from reaching out for Shiro. This might be true, but he can't let himself hope too much. This is more than likely something his brain is making up, or something Haggar's woven into his mind, and if Keith allows himself to hope it's true, he'll be shattered when it turns out to be false._

 _Shiro reaches one hand out and puts it gently against the side of Keith's face. "Whether you get me out of here or not, know that I'm proud of you," he says. Keith gulps harshly, trying not to cry. "There's no one I trust more to lead Voltron, and there's no one else who could do a better job."_

 _"Shiro," Keith sobs, and then his surroundings begin to glow until everything around him is a blinding white-_

And then he's falling out of the cryopod into Hunk's waiting arms, Shiro's name still fresh on his lips. "I've got you," Hunk tells him gently, lowering them both down to the floor. Pidge wraps a blanket around his shoulders and Lance presses a mug full of something warm into his hands.

"Did you get rid of the spell?" Keith asks Allura.

The look on Allura's face is too careful for the answer to be yes. "Keith," she tells him slowly, "there wasn't a spell."

Keith closes his eyes and opens himself up to the Black Lion more than he ever has before. _Is it true?_ he asks desperately. _What Shiro said in my dream- Is it true?_

He doesn't get a response in words, exactly, but he knows the answer is yes.


	2. Chapter 2

"So," Hunk asks, "is Shiro here now?"

Keith nods. Shiro is standing at the edge of the group, a fond smile on his face. "Tell them I'm proud of them."

"He says he's proud of all of you," Keith relays. His voice is hoarse. Hunk presses a water pouch into his hand and gives him a look until he starts drinking it.

"And you only see him when you're bonded with the Black Lion?" Allura asks.

"He said he's still linked to Black, so he can reach me through her," Keith explains. "So the stronger my bond is with Black, the more I can see Shiro."

"So you've been seeing him since you first started flying the Black Lion?" Lance asks. "Dude, why didn't you tell anyone?"

Keith scowls at him. "Tell you what, I was hallucinating Shiro?"

"Tell us _something_ , at least," Lance retorts. "If you thought you were going crazy-"

"Lance, back off," Pidge snaps. "Keith has a right to privacy, just like the rest of us."

"Allura, do you know what this mind place is?" Hunk asks. "How do we get there?"

"The Black Lion might be able to bring me into it," Keith says. "She brought Shiro there while we were at the space mall. But I don't know how to get Shiro out."

"I'm guessing it's probably not as easy as just going in, grabbing him, and coming out?" Pidge asks.

"I think I've heard of this mindscape before," Coran remarks. "But it's not a physical plane. Shiro's body shouldn't be there."

"So how do we get his body out?" Lance asks.

"Maybe Slav could help," Hunk suggests. "I mean, he seems to know a lot about alternate realities. Does this count as an alternate reality?"

"We can contact him," Allura agrees. "And Coran and I can look through the Castle's records to see if this has ever happened before."

"I might be able to figure out how to make something that would let us communicate with you while you're in the mindscape place, or maybe even physically get you in there," Pidge tells Keith. "Hunk, think you could help me with it?"

"Sure," Hunk agrees.

"I'll contact Slav," Lance adds. "He likes me and my lucky Blue."

All eyes turn to Keith. "I'll go talk to Black. I need to know if she can get me in the mindscape."

"Be careful," Allura warns. "One missing Paladin is quite enough."

Keith nods once, sharply. It's not exactly an agreement - he'll do whatever it takes to get Shiro out - but it's an acknowledgement, at the very least. It's best for everyone, Shiro included, if Keith doesn't get trapped in the mindscape as well, so he's going to do his best to make sure that doesn't happen.

Shiro follows Keith out of the room. Keith's itching to talk to him, but he waits until he reaches the Black Lion's cockpit. Everyone knows that he can see Shiro now, so they probably wouldn't think he was insane if he started talking to a person they couldn't see, but he'd still rather have this conversation in private.

"Thank you," Shiro says when they enter Black's cockpit. "Thank you for trying to get me out. Tell the others I say thank you too."

"What's it like?" Keith asks, his voice rough. He sits down on the floor of the cockpit. Shiro sits next to him, both of them leaning against the wall. "The mindscape."

"Empty," Shiro replies honestly. "Well, most of the time. Sometimes I…"

"You what?"

Shiro sighs. "I relive memories, sometimes. Reaching out to you and Black helps to stop it."

Keith thinks of all the times he shoved away his bond with Black to get rid of what he thought was a hallucination of Shiro and feels guilt burn in his stomach. Shiro could have been forced to relive horrible memories, just because Keith hadn't wanted to see him.

"Hey." Shiro's frowning now, looking at Keith. "It's not your fault."

Keith blinks. "How…"

Shiro rubs the back of his head, his little abashed smile on his face. With every expression like that he makes, Keith is filled with relief that he gets to see Shiro again. When he first ran into the Black Lion's cockpit to find it empty, he'd worried that he never would.

"I can sort of get into your head," Shiro admits. "Just a little. It's the same as the Lions. Black can feel what you feel, to an extent, and so can I."

"So the deeper I bond with Black…"

"The deeper you bond with me," Shiro finishes. He still looks a little embarrassed. "I'm sorry. I should have told you."

"It's fine," Keith replies automatically, and he's surprised to realize that it is. He's not a fan of people being able to get in his head, but if he were to let anyone in, it would be Shiro. And if this is what it takes to get Shiro back, it's a small price to pay.

"If it helps, you might be able to do the same thing the other way," Shiro offers.

"Get into your head?" Keith asks, surprised. "I… I guess. Will we still be able to do this once you're out of the mindscape place? Can I do this with Lance, since we're both bonded to Red?"

"I think it's a mindscape thing," Shiro replies. "But you could try it with Lance."

Keith makes a face. "I don't think I want to know what's going on in Lance's head."

Shiro laughs. "Oh, come on, it wouldn't be _that_ bad."

"True," Keith agrees, making Shiro raise an eyebrow in surprise. Keith's not normally one to relent so easily. "There's not enough going on in there for it to be good or bad."

Shiro tries to look disappointed, but his lips keep twitching into a smile. "Don't be so mean to your fellow Paladins," he scolds.

"Lance always starts it."

"Lance isn't even _here_."

"Good."

" _Keith_ ," Shiro scolds, reaching out to tousle Keith's hair. His hand just goes through Keith, just like it did in Haggar's cell.

It's an abrupt return to reality. Even though Keith and Shiro are sitting and talking, just like they used to, Shiro isn't physically here. If Keith wants to get him back, he's going to have to fight for him.

"I'm going to ask Black if she can send me to the mindscape," Keith says. "I'll find you."

"Be careful," Shiro says, a distinct pleading edge to his voice. "I don't want you to come after me if it's at your own expense."

"I've lost you once. I'm not losing you again."

"Keith-"

Keith closes his eyes and ignores Shiro. He's got practice at that now, after thinking Shiro was a hallucination. Instead of listening to him, he focuses on reaching out to the Black Lion. _Please,_ he begs silently, _help me get to Shiro. Help me get him back._

The Black Lion opens herself up to Keith, reaching out to him. Keith reaches back, but Black is trying to drag him in too deeply, too quickly, too _much_. They aren't bonded enough for this yet, and it hurts to force it so quickly, but-

Keith cries out and yanks away when the Black Lion pulls too hard. "Keith!" Shiro cries. He's kneeling in front of Keith, hands reached out like he wanted to grab him and then remembered he couldn't. "Keith, are you alright?"

Keith's breaths are ragged and loud in the mostly-silent cockpit. "Fine," he manages to pant out.

"You're clearly not!" Shiro exclaims. "I don't want you doing this to yourself, Keith-"

"You're gone," Keith bites out. The words are harsh. Shiro rocks back on his heels with the force of them. "You're gone, and you left me in charge. You're not my leader now, Shiro. You will be when you get back, but until then, I'm in charge, and you have no right to tell me what to do."

Shiro blinks, looking stunned. To be entirely honest, Keith feels stunned as well. He can't quite believe he said that. The words aren't exactly _false_ , but they're harsher than he would have said them, if he ever spoke those thoughts aloud. He almost wishes he could take them back, but they're already out, and a small, vindictive part of him is glad. Shiro can't have it both ways. Either he's left Keith in charge or he hasn't. Keith would prefer the latter, but considering the former is reality, he thinks they need to face it.

"Keith," Shiro says gently, like he's trying not to startle a wild animal, "I just don't want you getting hurt."

"And I want you back," Keith retorts, feeling distinctly uncomfortable with the vulnerability he's displaying. "And I'm the one in charge right now, so-"

"So you need to be here for the others," Shiro finishes. "I can't be here for you right now, Keith. I wish I could be, but I can't. I need you to-"

"I need you back." Keith's hands are clenched into shaking fists. "I need you back, Shiro, and I'm going to do whatever it takes."

"Keith-"

Keith closes his eyes and throws himself into the Black Lion. Pain erupts through his head almost immediately, but he ignores it. He can feel Black is a little more tentative this time, but he pushes against her without any hesitation. _We both need Shiro back,_ he tells her. _If it hurts a little, I can handle it._

Forcing a too-deep bond with a Lion is, Keith finds out, incredibly painful. Normally, his bond with the Black Lion would slowly build up to this level, but he needs to reach it now. He doesn't have any time-

 _He bursts into the mindscape with a gasp. "Keith!" Shiro cries, grabbing him as his knees buckle. He can actually touch Keith here, his grip tight and familiar. "Keith, you can't do this to yourself."_

 _"I'm here," Keith gasps. "I'm here-"_

 _"You need to go," Shiro instructs him firmly. "You're hurting yourself-"_

 _"Shiro, I need-"_

 _"You need to go," Shiro repeats, and he gives Keith a gentle push and then-_

Keith is lying on his side in the Black Lion's cockpit, covered in sweat and panting like he just ran a marathon. His head still aches, and he thinks his nose might be bleeding, but he made it into the mindscape. It might have only been for a few moments, but he'll work up his endurance until he's able to stay there long enough to get Shiro out.

It takes Keith a moment to realize that Shiro's not sitting next to him any more. He reaches out questioningly to the Black Lion, since he's pretty sure she's pulled herself away from him. She doesn't bond closely enough to speak to him words, but he gets the impression that he'll be able to recover more quickly if they keep a level of distance between themselves for a while. It's a mixed blessing. On the one hand, Keith doesn't want Shiro to be forced to relive memories in the mindscape, and he feels more comfortable knowing that Shiro's there. On the other hand, he knows Shiro's not happy with how hard he's pushing himself, and he doesn't really want to listen to another lecture.

Using the wall of the Black Lion to lever himself upright, Keith staggers out of the cockpit. He's got to tell the others he can reach the mindscape.

It's the first step towards getting Shiro back.

* * *

"You need to take a break."

Keith is on his hands and knees inside Black's cockpit, dripping sweat and gasping desperately for air. "One more time."

" _Keith_." For once, it's not Shiro lecturing him, but Pidge. "I'm pretty sure _I_ could beat you in a hand-to-hand fight right now, and that's just not right. Take a break."

"Do you have enough data?"

Pidge frowns at her computer, adjusting her glasses. "Maybe. Let me finish analyzing it, and then I'll know if I need more."

Keith slowly sits up, leaning against the wall of Black's cockpit. "Okay. How long until it's analyzed?"

"Not sure," Pidge replies, looking at her computer. "Hmm, I'd say at least a varga."

Keith narrows his eyes. "Are you just trying to get me to take a break for that long?"

Pidge turns her computer around, showing Keith all sorts of windows he doesn't understand. "Um, no, I'm saying it'll take at least a varga because that's the best estimate I can come up with. Look, Keith, I know you want to get Shiro back, but you _can_ take a break."

"Shiro is _stuck_ -"

"And burning yourself out isn't going to help."

Keith scowls. "You sound just like Shiro."

"Yeah, but Shiro's right a lot."

Keith can't exactly argue with that, so he just scowls even more. "This just _hurts_. It's not like it's causing any actual damage." He knows this because Pidge has been scanning him with one of Coran's little medical scanners every time he dives into the mindscape. The scans haven't found any physical damage from his forced bonding with Black. It's all mental. Keith can deal with that.

Pidge looks about as reassured by that as Shiro did when Keith told him in the mindscape. "Maybe it's not causing physical damage, but none of us want you hurting either."

Keith grits his teeth. He doesn't think Pidge will take it well if he says he'd gladly take all of this pain if it gets Shiro back. "Fine," he relents instead. "If we're taking a break, I'm going to eat."

Pidge looks incredibly relieved. Keith wonders exactly how bad everyone thinks he is at taking care of himself, then remembers how bad he was at remembering to eat when he lived alone in the desert. They probably have a point.

"Keith!" Hunk cries when Keith enters the dining hall. "Dude, you look terrible. Sit down and let me fix you up a Hunk Special."

"A what?" Keith asks, but Hunk has already gone back into the kitchen.

Lance, who's sitting across the table, snorts. "Just let him feed you. You're not gonna beat him on this one, especially when you look that horrible. Have you slept since you came out of the cryopod?"

Keith glares. "Don't you have something you should be doing?"

"I'm going to be in charge of wrangling Slav once he gets here, but he's still two vargas out," Lance replies. "So I'm taking a break while I wait for him. Do you know what a break is?"

Keith is too exhausted to deal with this. He's about two seconds away from getting up and leaving when Hunk comes back in and sets a plate down in front of him.

"Eat up!"

Keith isn't quite sure what anything on the plate is, but it smells delicious and he's hungry enough not to care. He shoots Lance one last glare, just daring him to comment, then he starts eating.

Hunk nods approvingly as Keith, realizing that he hasn't eaten in much longer than is probably healthy, wolfs down every bit of food in front of him. "I have more, if you're still hungry," he offers. "I've kind of been cooking a lot in the past couple of days."

For a moment, Keith wants to decline so he can get back to the Black Lion. Then he remembers that Pidge won't be ready for new data for a while yet, and she probably won't let him back into Black until she is. "I'd like some more, if that's okay."

"Please, sir, may I have some more?" Lance asks in a high pitched attempt at a British accent.

"Are you _sure_ you don't have anything you should be doing?"

Lance sighs. "I guess I'll go train, since I'm being thrown out of the dining hall." He throws a dramatic arm over his forehead. "So sad! So tragic!"

Even Hunk gives Lance a look at that. "Fine, I'm going," Lance sighs, stomping dramatically out of the dining hall.

"He's just upset," Hunk says, picking up Keith's plates and heading to the kitchen. Keith follows him in. "He does this when he's worried. He gets all clingy and loud. This is even worse than how he used to get around finals."

"I just-" Keith rubs at his eyes. He's too exhausted to deal with this. "Can he be upset a little more quietly?"

Hunk shrugs. "We all deal in different ways. I've been cooking, Pidge has been putting trackers in all our armor, you've been training, and Lance has been…"

"Being Lance," Keith finishes. He pinches the bridge of his nose. The ever-present headache he's had since he first entered the mindscape is throbbing behind his eyes. "I know it's his way of dealing, but-"

"His way of dealing and your way of dealing don't mesh very well," Hunk finishes. "But we'll have Shiro back soon anyway, and then things will be back to normal."

Keith nods absently. "Yeah, you're right."

Hunk puts a bowl down in front of Keith. "Here, try this. I'm experimenting with some new spices. You like spicy food, right?"

Keith blinks down at the bowl. "Um, yeah, I guess." He takes a bite and feels his eyes widen in surprise.

"Too spicy?" Hunk asks worriedly.

"No," Keith replies, taking another bite. "No, it's really good. It tastes like this curry that one of my foster mothers used to make."

Hunk's face lights up. "Cool! Yeah, I accidentally put in a little more of the spice than I meant to, but I still think it's good. I'm pretty sure it's spicier than Altean food is, though, cause Coran looked like his face was going to light on fire when he tried it."

"Coran thinks the food goo is good," Keith retorts dryly.

"That is true," Hunk agrees. "Well, there's more of that, if you want it. Eat however much you like."

"Are you leaving me alone in your kitchen?" Keith asks, raising an eyebrow. "I didn't know you trusted any of us enough to do that."

"I totally trust you!" Hunk cries. "Just don't touch the stove or the oven. Or anything, really. Except the prepared food in the fridge, you can touch that."

"I won't mess with anything," Keith promises, feeling a slight grin pull at his lips.

Hunk beams at the sight. "Okay," he says, patting Keith on the shoulder. "I'm gonna go find Lance. See you later!"

Keith lets out a sigh as Hunk leaves the kitchen. He's always liked being alone, but now that he's had Shiro following him around for the past few days, it's strange to be the only one in the room. He needs to distance himself from Black while he's not delving into the mindscape, so he's barely seen Shiro in the past day.

It's only been a day, but Keith misses him.

He sighs again and picks up the bowl of food, sitting down on the floor and holding the bowl in his lap. He could go into the dining room, which would probably be more comfortable, but sitting on the kitchen floor isn't that bad, and Keith is too exhausted to move more than he has to.

He finishes the food and sets the bowl down next to him, leaning back against the wall. He should get up and do something productive while he waits for Pidge to be ready, but the kitchen is nice and warm - has it always been this warm? - and he's exhausted enough that sitting in the corner and leaning against the wall isn't that uncomfortable, and he's pleasantly full for the first time in days, and Keith lets his eyes slip shut.

* * *

"Shhh, don't wake him!"

Keith wrinkles his nose and curls up a little bit more. His bed is strangely uncomfortable, but at least he has a blanket. He pulls it up to his chin.

There's a soft thud, then a hissed "please be _quiet_!" Keith grumbles quietly to himself and pulls the blanket up higher. He doesn't know why someone is making noise bumbling around in his room-

Except wait, Keith didn't fall asleep in his room, did he? He doesn't remember going into his room. All he remembers is eating in the kitchen, and sitting against the wall, and then-

And then…

Keith's eyes shoot open and he jerks upright. He looks around the kitchen wildly and sees Allura, standing frozen in place. The mice are standing stock still in various spots around the kitchen as well, all staring at him. There's a fallen box next to Platt, which must have been the thump that Keith heard before.

"How long have I been asleep?" Keith asks, rubbing at his eyes. His voice is rough from sleep.

"I'm not sure," Allura replies, but she shifts her weight in a way that makes Keith think she has an answer she's not telling him.

"How long has it been since Pidge and I took a break?" Keith asks. He didn't fall asleep that long after that.

Allura shifts again. "I'm not entirely certain," she hedges, but when Keith gives her a look, she admits, "A few vargas."

"A few _vargas_?" Keith repeats, horrified. He tries to get up, but the blanket is tangled up around his legs.

"We thought it was best to let you sleep," Allura adds quickly. "Pidge had enough data from your previous trips to the mindscape, and Slav has arrived, and we all thought you needed your rest."

"Slav is here?" Keith asks. That means he's been asleep for at least two vargas. "Does he have any ideas on how to get Shiro back?"

"I'm not sure," Allura replies. "He's been holed up with Pidge, Hunk, and Lance for the past two and a half vargas, so-"

"Two and a half?" Keith repeats, eyes going wide. "Allura, how long have I been asleep?"

Allura presses her lips together.

" _Allura_."

"A little over five vargas."

" _Five vargas_?"

"You needed the rest!" Allura doesn't look the slightest bit repentant. "Keith, I know you're worried about Shiro, but he would be the first one to tell you to get some rest."

"Allura, I can't-"

"What's done is done," Allura says firmly. "You needed the rest, and you got it. I believe Slav and the others are in the Green Lion's hangar, if you wish to see what they're doing."

Keith shoves the blanket off him and gets up. He hates to admit it, but he _does_ feel better after getting some sleep. His mind is clearer, and all his limbs don't feel incredibly heavy anymore. Even his headache has dulled to the point where it's barely there anymore.

He's not going to say that to Allura, though, so he just grabs the blanket off the floor and leaves the kitchen. The blanket is his - someone must have gotten it out of his room while he was sleeping - so he puts it back, then continues on to the Green Lion's hangar.

Slav screeches when he enters. "Don't step on the line!"

Keith stops short and looks down. There's a circle drawn on the floor around the desk where Slav and the others are working. "This circle is drawn with just enough salt that, in some realities, it will protect us from creatures that would do us harm!" Slav explains, sounding, in Keith's opinion, unnecessarily panicked over the matter. "But if you mess it up, we'll be vulnerable, and our chances of dying in those realities increase by twenty-six percent!"

"Can I step over it?" Keith asks. He's found the best way to deal with Slav is to just let him do what he wants. Fighting him never gets you anywhere, but if Keith summons up every bit of patience he has, he can just let Slav have his little idiosyncrasies and go with it.

"You can step over it, but don't touch the line!" Slav tells him. "If you touch it-"

"Our chances of dying in other realities go up, I understand," Keith interrupts. He carefully steps over the line, making sure he clears it on either side by a few inches. "Have you figured out how to get to Shiro?"

"Maybe," Pidge replies. "I've looked over all the data from your trips to the mindscape place, and I think I've figured out a way for us to communicate with you when you go there. But what we still can't figure out is how Shiro's physical body ended up there."

"It is only a mental state," Slav adds. "The chances that someone's physical body would end up there are almost infinitesimal."

"But Shiro did end up there, so how did he beat the odds?" Lance asks.

"I mean, we know his mind is there, but are we sure his body is?" Hunk asks. "Maybe it's not. Maybe it's somewhere else."

"Then where is it?" Pidge retorts. "Cause he was in the Black Lion one second, and then he was gone."

"I don't know!" Hunk replies. "I just think it's worth thinking about, you know. I mean, how could his physical body get into a _mind_ scape?"

"I can ask him," Keith offers. Everyone turns to look at him. "I don't know if he'll know, but I can ask," he adds. "And maybe I can ask Black, she might have an idea."

"That's actually a really good idea," Pidge says after a moment. "I mean, between the two of them, they have to have _some_ idea, right?"

"When can you ask?" Hunk asks.

Keith takes a deep breath and opens himself up to the Black Lion. Their connection is a bit more tentative than usual - Black warned him that pushing it so much might temporarily make their normal bond a bit strained - but it's more than enough for Shiro to appear.

"Right now."

"You see him now?" Lance asks.

"Tell everyone I say hi," Shiro says. "And thank them from me for getting you to take care of yourself."

"He says hi," Keith replies, deciding not to pass on the second half of the message. Shiro smirks.

Slav grabs some sort of device that's beeping quite a lot and runs it over Keith's body. After a moment, he waves it in front of Keith's face, then rubs it over the top of his head.

Keith raises an eyebrow. "What are you doing?"

"Scanning your brainwaves to see how you communicate through the mindscape," Slav replies. "This sort of bond should not be possible between two creatures such as yourselves. Even your Galra heritage is not enough to make it work. There is only a zero point two percent chance that creatures as primitive as you could manage this."

"The Black Lion bridges us together," Shiro says. Keith passes it on to Slav.

"Hmm," Slav murmurs. "The Lions do seem powerful enough to do that. Yes, if I add that to the calculations…" He begins pressing buttons on the device, humming softly to himself as he does. Keith turns away from him and back to Shiro.

"Shiro," he says, feeling a little awkward talking to someone the others can't see, "we were wondering if you have any idea how your body ended up in the mindscape." _And Black,_ he adds silently, _any of your ideas would be appreciated too._

"If you think things directed at me and Black, we can both hear them," Shiro tells Keith. "You don't have to talk out loud if you don't want to. And I have no idea how my body ended up there. One second, I was in the Black Lion, and then I felt something tugging at my bond with Black, and then I was in the mindscape. It took a little while to realize that something was different from last time, but being here physically isn't the same as just being here mentally."

"Shiro says he doesn't know how he ended up physically in the mindscape," Keith relays. "He just says he felt something tugging on his bond with the Black Lion, and then he was there." _What about you, Black?_ he adds. _Anything you've got would help._

The Black Lion doesn't answer Keith's question in words. Instead, all of his senses suddenly seem to turn off for an instant. After a moment, they return, but they're unlike anything he's ever felt. He feels different, more expansive, more powerful. This is like no human sensation he's ever experienced.

An embarrassingly long moment passes before Keith realizes that the Black Lion is sharing a memory with him, the memory of when Shiro disappeared.

Black only gives Keith a moment to acclimate to the strange new perspective before she delves into the memory. The sensory input is almost overpowering, far more than Keith is ever used to having. It must be normal for Black, though, as she sorts through it easily. Through her eyes, Keith can see Shiro sitting in the cockpit of the Black Lion. He can feel the bond between the two of them. He can feel Shiro's presence in a way that no human would normally be able to feel another human's.

And then, suddenly, the bond between them is strained, like something is pulling Shiro away. Black reacts by pulling back. For a moment, she's stuck in a sort of tug-of-war over Shiro that he himself has no idea is happening. Then Black tugs _hard_ , hard enough for Shiro to feel it, and in that moment when Shiro's psyche is somewhat off-balance, the other presence pushes and Shiro is gone.

 _Do you have any idea what the other thing was?_ Keith asks.

He can feel that the answer is no. The Black Lion is as confused as Keith is. No one but she should have been able to bring Shiro to that mindscape. Perhaps the other presence used the channels created by their bond to send Shiro there, but it should never have sent more than his mind.

It's not as much as Keith would have preferred, but at least it's something. He pulls away from the Black Lion a little, and she releases him from the memory.

He opens his eyes on the floor, his head pillowed in Hunk's lap. "Keith!" he cries the second Keith's eyes open up. "Dude, what just happened?"

"I don't know," Keith replies, sitting up slowly. Hunk's hands settle on his shoulders and guide him upright. "Why am I on the floor?"

"Beats me," Pidge replies. "You just closed your eyes and dropped like a ton of freaking bricks."

"How long have I been out?" Keith asks.

"Just a couple of minutes," Lance replies. "What happened?"

"The Black Lion showed me the memory of when Shiro disappeared," Keith replies. "She doesn't know exactly what happened, but she knows how it felt."

"Tell us," Pidge replies, grabbing her computer. "Don't leave out any details. Everything helps."

Keith relays the memory to them in as much detail as possible. "Any ideas?"

"There is an alternate reality where it would be possible to send both the body and the mind into the mindscape," Slav suggests. "Perhaps our reality and that one intersected."

"Is that likely?" Lance asks.

"No," Slav replies, "but neither is this situation."

"Can you give us the most likely possibilities?" Keith asks.

"Hmm." Slav starts doing something with one of the many devices near him, humming to himself occasionally. Apparently, he needs a minute to answer the question.

"You're pretty good with Slav," Shiro compliments. "I'll be honest, I always worried you would throw him out an airlock or something."

 _I may have considered it,_ Keith thinks, trying to direct the thought at Shiro the way he directs thoughts at Red or Black.

Shiro laughs, so he must get it. "Honestly, so have I."

 _If you just let him do what he wants, then he's normally not too bad,_ Keith adds. _And affirm that you hear what he's saying, even if it's ridiculous._

"You haven't dealt with him as much as I have," Shiro replies, shaking his head. "If you had, you wouldn't think it's that easy."

"I have figured out the most statistically likely scenario," Slav announces. Everyone turns to him. "One of us is about to die."

Okay, maybe Shiro has a point and it's not that easy.

"Don't throw him out an airlock," Shiro tells Keith, grinning smugly. That's easy for _him_ to say, considering he isn't dealing with Slav's ridiculous morbidity. Perhaps, Keith reflects, Slav's death from being tossed out into space is the death that he's predicting.

"Excuse me?" Lance asks, sounding about as surprised as Keith feels.

"It is statistically very likely!" Slav cries. "We are all in great danger at all times, and the chance that one of us will die is very high!"

"What does that have to do with what happened to Shiro?" Keith asks, his voice tightly controlled.

"He could be the one to die," Slav replies, like it's obvious.

"But what does it have to do with _where he is_ and _how to get him back_?" Keith hisses.

"Patience yields focus, Keith," Shiro pipes in.

 _Screw you._

Shiro laughs. He's far too happy that he's pushed the job of dealing with Slav onto someone else.

"Do you mean someone could die in this reality?" Pidge asks.

"Yes! This reality and many others!" Slav replies. "The person could even be me!"

"What can we do to reduce our chances of dying in this reality?" Hunk asks. "I would definitely like to not die."

"There is very little we can do," Slav replies. "There are other options in other realities. There is one reality where you could all surrender to the Galra and be left alive, but I do not think that is very likely in this one."

"Look," Keith interrupts. "Can we get back on topic? Shiro is gone, and we need to find out how to get him back. Slav, you said you could help. This is _not helping_."

Slav looks at Keith with wide, hurt eyes. Keith feels a little like he just kicked a puppy. "What he means," Lance interjects quickly, "is that we want to figure out how to get Shiro back without any of us dying. How do we do that?"

Slav fidgets and looks over at Keith for a moment before looking back at Lance. "We have to create a machine that can open a physical gateway to the mindscape. And then we'll have to send someone in there, because Shiro will not know where the gateway is. But it will be very risky. I do not know how long we will be able to hold it open."

"Are there any ways to lower those risks?" Hunk asks. "I'm not digging the idea of two of us being stuck in the mindscape place."

"He will have to be the one to get Shiro out," Slav says, pointing at Keith. Some of the others look a little surprised, but Keith has been expecting this all along. "He is the one with the connection to Shiro and the Black Lion and the mindscape, so his chances of being able to get in without dying are much higher than anyone else's."

"His chances of getting in without what now?" Hunk demands.

"How high is 'much higher'?" Lance asks, sounding worried.

"Can you build the machine?" Keith interrupts.

"I think so," Slav replies.

He doesn't move.

"In this reality?" Keith adds.

"Yes."

He still doesn't move.

" _Now_?"

"Oh, you want me to start _now_?" Slav asks, sounding surprised. "Alright. I can get started right away." He points at Pidge and Hunk. "I need you two to help me." He points at Keith and Lance. "You two cannot help, and if you try, the chances that something will go wrong increase."

"Wow, rude."

Keith grabs Lance's arm. "We'll go, then," he replies.

"Don't step on the circle!" Slav cries.

Keith carefully steps over the circle. Lance does the same behind him. "Keep me posted," Keith tells Pidge.

"I will," she replies, nodding.

"So what are you going to do now?" Lance asks when he and Keith leave the hangar.

"Train," Keith replies shortly.

"Oh." Lance looks a little disappointed. Keith remembers what Hunk said about Lance's way of coping. He knows that Lance doesn't like being alone.

"You can come with me, if you want," he offers, trying not to sound as begrudging as he feels.

"Really?" Lance asks, his eyes lighting up. " _Awesome_. I'm so gonna take down more gladiators than you."

Keith is already regretting this a little bit, but he knows it's what Lance needs, and it's not the most awful thing in the world. "Told you you were a good leader," Shiro says, smiling fondly at him.

Keith thinks about sticking his tongue out at Shiro as hard as he can, and judging by Shiro's startled laughter, he gets the message.

* * *

Keith is sitting in the Black Lion's cockpit, talking with Shiro, when the message from Pidge comes through. "Yes?" he asks, scrambling for his helmet.

 _"The machine is ready,"_ Pidge says. _"We've tested it the best we can, but you're really the only person it can work for, so we can't test it too much. But we're pretty sure that it'll work. Slav says the chance of you dying horribly is less than fifty percent, so for him, that's pretty optimistic."_

"It's ready already?" Keith asks, surprised. He'd figured it would take longer.

 _"Slav can build things, like, crazy fast,"_ Hunk says, apparently highjacking the comm. _"It must be all the arms or something."_

"If you're not ready yet, that's okay," Shiro says, looking concerned.

"I'll be there in five minutes," Keith says.

 _"See you then,"_ Pidge replies.

"Keith, are you sure?" Shiro asks. He's watching Keith worriedly, his arms crossed over his chest. "If you don't want to do this yet, that's okay. You can ask Slav to run more tests, or-"

"This thing will only work for me," Keith replies. "You heard Pidge. I'm the only one who has the connection to the mindscape. They can't test it, because it won't work for anyone else."

"But Keith-"

"Shiro, I'm doing this," Keith snaps, whirling around. "I'm not letting you stay in the mindscape forever. I'm getting you out of there, and you can't stop me."

Shiro swallows hard. "Be careful."

"I will be," Keith promises. He puts on his helmet and runs out of the Black Lion's cockpit. Before he leaves the hangar, he puts a hand on her muzzle. "You'll help me, right, girl?"

It feels like the Black Lion is purring in his mind. She's just as ready to get Shiro back as Keith is. He's not offended that she wants her real Paladin back. If he were her, he would too.

He gets to the Green Lion's hangar quickly, but apparently he's the last one there. Everyone else is standing around inside Slav's giant circle, which he seems to have enlarged since the last time Keith was in there. "Keith!" Pidge calls when she sees him. "Come here. Let me show you how this works."

"What is everyone doing here?" Keith asks, looking around as he carefully steps over the line.

"We weren't going to let you go in there without moral support!" Lance cries.

"Slav says your quintessence might be unstable when you come out of the mindscape," Coran adds. "And we don't know if you can get injured in there, so we're ready for anything. I've already got cryopods prepared for you and Shiro, just in case."

"Are you sure you're ready?" Allura asks, stepping up to Keith and putting a hand on his shoulder.

"As long as the machine is, I am," Keith replies. He looks at Pidge, Hunk, and Slav. "Is the machine as ready as it's going to be?"

"There's nothing else we can do," Pidge confirms. "We're pretty sure it'll work, but…" She shrugs. "It needs to be you going through, so we can't test it with anything else."

"Then let's see if it works with me," Keith replies. "How are we going to do we do this?"

"Okay." Pidge grabs Keith's arm and drags him over to a large X drawn on the floor. In front of him is a cobbled-together metal circle. It reminds Keith a little of the teladuv that they made to wormhole Zarkon's ship. "This is the gateway," Pidge explains. "We need you here so we can open it through you. It'll look kinda like a wormhole when it opens. You'll need to go in and it should bring you into the mindscape. Once you're there, you need to find Shiro, and then take him back to the spot where you came into the mindscape. That's where the gateway will be. We're not sure how long we'll be able to keep it open, and we're not sure if time works the same way in the mindscape as it does out here, so be as quick as you can."

Keith nods. "Okay. When are we going to do this?"

"Whenever you're ready."

"Be careful," Hunk blurts out.

"Don't get lost," Lance adds.

Allura pulls Keith into a hug, both of them ignoring Lance's spluttering protests. "Bring Shiro home," she whispers in his ear.

"I will."

"You'll be alright, Number Four," Coran says, looking a little like he might cry. "Be careful, alright? Don't get lost in there. We don't want you missing as well."

"I'll be careful," Keith promises. He looks around at everyone. All eyes are on him. "Let's do this."

Slav and Pidge communicate in some incomprehensible techno-babble while Keith stands on the X, waiting. "Alright," Pidge says after a moment. "Keith, take this." She hands Keith a small piece of plastic with buttons on it. "That comm should work in the mindscape," she tells him. "Keep it safe."

"I will."

"We're opening up the mindscape now," Pidge says, pressing a button.

Keith can feel the Black Lion's surprise in the back of his mind and can feel the slight tugging at the place where their bond lives. Then something starts to spark in the middle of the metal circle, first just a little bit and then more and more, and then with a roar that sounds like a lion, there's a black swirling hole in the circle.

"Go!"

Keith doesn't need any more convincing. He hurtles forward, throwing himself through the portal. For a moment, it feels like he's being compressed horribly, and then-

 _He's there._

 _It's the mindscape, he recognizes it. Shiro was right, it feels different to be there physically than it did to be there mentally. Part of that is probably that Keith's head doesn't feel like it's about to explode now, which is a welcome change._

"Keith!" _Pidge's voice yells. Keith blinks at the comm. He feels discombobulated, a little confused-_

 _He's here to find Shiro. He needs to get a grip._

 _"I'm here, Pidge," he says. His voice sounds a little strange. "I'm in."_

"Good," _Pidge replies._ "The gateway is a bit more stable than we were expecting it to be, but it might still collapse. Be fast."

 _"I will be," Keith promises. If he closes his eyes, he can feel a slight tug in one direction. His bond with the Black Lion is still nestled in the back of his mind, and he can feel her radiating approval as he takes a tentative step towards the pull. It must be Shiro._

 _Keith breaks into a run. He can feel the tugging get stronger and stronger as he gets closer to its source, and then-_

 _He's in an arena, with Galra yelling and jeering all around. Keith is on the outskirts, but in the middle are two fighters. One of them, Keith doesn't know, but the other he would recognize anywhere._

 _"Shiro!"_

 _Shiro turns, and he's distracted just long enough for the other alien to backhand him across the face, sending him flying across the arena. Keith sprints forward, skidding to a stop next to Shiro._

 _"Keith," Shiro whispers, looking up at him. "Keith, how did you get here? Did they take you? Did they already get to Earth?"_

 _"No, Shiro, this isn't real," Keith tells him, his voice pleading. "Shiro, this is just a memory. You're not here anymore, you got out, remember?"_

 _"I… got out?" Shiro repeats, sounding very confused._

 _"You- Duck!"_

 _Both Keith and Shiro roll out of the way as the alien's massive hands slam down where they had been just moments before. "Stay out of this!" Shiro yells. "I'll take care of it!"_

 _"Shiro, this isn't real!" Keith yells back, although he materializes his bayard, just in case._

 _Shiro doesn't seem to hear him, running forward and punching the alien hard in the gut. Keith notices that he has both of his regular hands, no glowing Galra prosthetic. If he had the prosthetic, the fight would be over much more quickly, but he's unarmed and barely a match for this giant alien fighter._

 _"Shiro, listen to me!" Keith yells. "This isn't real. This is just a memory. You're in the mindscape, you got stuck there after we defeated Zarkon, I'm here to get you out!" Still, Shiro doesn't seem to hear him. "Shiro!" Keith yells again, grabbing Shiro's shoulder._

 _Shiro's punch sends him flying back at least five feet, hitting the ground painfully as he lands. Horror spreads over Shiro's face immediately, but before he has a chance to get over to Keith, the alien hits him again and he falls._

 _"Shiro!" Keith screams. He unsheathes his Marmora knife and holds it steady in his left hand, then he throws himself at the alien. This might just be a memory, but he doesn't know if Shiro can still get hurt, so he's not taking any chances._

 _With the use of his bayard and his knife, it doesn't take Keith long to take down the alien. It's not a fair fight, but this isn't real anyways. He runs to Shiro as soon as the alien falls._

 _"Shiro, Shiro, listen to me, this isn't real," he begs, kneeling next to him. "This is just a memory, please, Shiro, we need to get you out of here, the others are waiting for you-"_

 _"The others?" Shiro asks, his voice hoarse._

 _"Allura and Coran and Hunk and Pidge and Lance and even Slav, and the Lions are waiting too, I know the Black Lion wants you back, she needs you back, Shiro-"_

 _"The Black Lion," Shiro repeats hazily. "Allura and Coran. Hunk and Pidge and Lance."_

 _"Yes, Shiro, the other Paladins and the Lions-"_

 _"I'm a Paladin of Voltron," Shiro says, his voice a little stronger. The arena around them starts to fade. "I'm a Paladin of Voltron."_

 _"You're a Paladin of Voltron," Keith agrees. "We're both Paladins, and we need to get back to the others."_

 _The arena disappears, and Shiro has his Galra arm again. "Keith," he whispers. "How did you get in here?"_

 _"Slav and Pidge and Hunk built a gateway into the mindscape," Keith replies. "But I don't know how long it's going to stay open, so we need to be fast."_

 _"Okay," Shiro agrees, letting Keith pull him upright. "Where's the gateway?"_

 _Keith whirls around. "Oh no."_

 _The mindscape is entirely featureless, with no way of knowing where he came from. Keith scrambles for his comm._

 _"Pidge! I got Shiro, but I don't know where the gateway is. Is there anything you can do on your side to help?"_

"I can't see exactly where you are," _Pidge says slowly,_ "but I can see how far away you are from the gateway. If you start moving, I should be able to tell you if you're moving closer or further away."

 _"So a game of hot and cold where the stakes are our lives?" Shiro asks._

"Oh my God, _Shiro_ ," _Pidge gasps. Keith realizes this is the first time she's heard his voice since she disappeared._ "I mean, yeah, pretty much. Hurry back, Keith, we're not sure how long we can keep the gateway open. Some of the energy readings are starting to fluctuate a little."

 _"We'll be as fast as we can," Keith replies. He looks at Shiro, then starts off in a random direction._

"Cold!" _Pidge cries._

 _Keith tries another direction._

"Warmer!"

 _He turns a little bit more._

"Hot! Keep going that way!"

 _"I guess we're going this way," Shiro says, a slight smile on his face._

 _"Guess we are," Keith replies, and they both start to run._

 _Pidge directs them a bit more, but they mostly just run in a straight line. It takes a few minutes of running, but finally, Keith can see the gateway in the distance._

 _It seems to be flickering._

 _"Pidge, is the gateway stable enough for us to go through?" he demands._

"Yes, but be fast," _Pidge replies._ "It might not be for much longer."

 _By unspoken agreement, both Keith and Shiro speed up. They're running as fast as they can, and Keith is very glad there's nothing in their path that could trip them, and then finally, they're at the gateway._

"It's starting to break down!" _Pidge yells, sounding panicked._ "Hurry!"

 _"Go through!" Keith yells to Shiro._

 _"You first!" Shiro yells back._

 _Keith doesn't have time for this. "Together, then," he says, grabbing Shiro's hand. They look at each other for one moment, and then they throw themselves through the gateway and-_

They're out.

Keith falls onto the floor, and Shiro crumples next to him, and there are hands reaching towards them and voices talking above them and none of that matters as much as the fact that Keith's hand is still clutching Shiro's.

He's out. Shiro's back.

* * *

Keith comes out of the cryopod earlier than Shiro does. Coran catches him this time. "Easy there, Number Four," he says, holding Keith up as he tries to get his legs steady under him. "Your quintessence was very unstable when you came out of the mindscape, and you had a couple of bumps and bruises, but the cryopod fixed all that up for you."

"What about Shiro?" Keith rasps.

Coran looks over at the cryopod next to the one Keith just got out of, where Shiro rests. "He should be fine, but he'll need to be in there a bit longer than you," he replies. "If you're feeling up to it, you can go join the others in the dining hall. It was getting very crowded in here, so I had to send them out."

Keith looks over at Shiro's cryopod again, torn. "Don't worry," Coran adds. "He's not going to come out for a while yet, and I'll be sure to call you all in with at least half a varga to spare. You came out a little earlier than I expected, so that's why no one's here yet. I won't make the same mistake with Shiro."

"Keep us updated," Keith replies. His legs are still a little shaky, but not so much so that he can't walk. He stops in his room quickly to get changed back into his clothes, then he goes to the dining hall.

"Keith!" four voices yell in unison, and then suddenly Keith is being bombarded by four figures all scrambling for a hug. He flails a bit, his legs not quite steady enough for this, but Hunk braces him from behind and Allura is squeezing him so tightly he's pretty sure she could hold him upright on her own without breaking a sweat.

"Can you guys let go?" Keith asks after about a minute of enduring the hug. Everyone obligingly releases him, but no one goes very far.

"We were so worried!" Allura cries. "Your quintessence was very unstable when you came out of the mindscape, and you've been in the cryopod for so long-"

"-And Coran kicked all of us out of the infirmary, so we've been stuck in here," Lance adds.

"Are you okay?" Pidge demands.

"I'm fine," Keith replies. "Coran says Shiro won't be out for a while, but he'll be sure to call us in early enough that we'll be there when he comes out of the cryopod."

Suddenly, there are arms around him again, and Pidge is hugging him so tightly Keith can barely breathe. "Thank you so much for getting him back."

"We all owe you a debt of gratitude," Allura agrees. "Without you, we never would have gotten Shiro back."

"You would have figured something out," Keith counters, a little uncomfortable with the praise. His voice comes out a little breathless. "Uh, Pidge, could you-"

"Oh, sorry." Pidge lets go and Keith feels his lungs expand gratefully.

"You hungry?" Hunk asks, shepherding him over to a chair. Keith sinks into it gratefully, still feeling a little shaky from the cryopod. Hunk doesn't wait for Keith to reply. "I'll grab you something," he says, bustling off into the kitchen.

"So what was the mindscape like?" Lance asks, sitting across from Keith at the table. Allura and Pidge settle into the seats at Keith's sides, looking at him with the same eagerness that's on Lance's face, albeit a bit more restrained.

"Empty, mostly," Keith replies. He's not going to tell the others about Shiro's memories. It's not his story to tell.

Hunk reenters the dining room and puts a huge bowl of food in front of Keith. "Well, I, for one, am terrified of this mindscape place," he announces as he sits next to Lance, "and if Yellow ever tries to send me there, I'll probably scream."

"Agreed," Lance and Pidge reply in unison.

"I imagine you're relieved to be flying the Red Lion again, Keith," Allura says. "Lance has already told us how much he misses Blue."

"Do you wish you could still fly a Lion?" Keith asks.

Allura shrugs. "It was quite exciting, but I think I can do more good from the Castle. Although I will miss my bayard. I'll have to get a new whip."

Allura is, quite frankly, terrifying with her whip, but Keith's found she's terrifying with most weapons, and also without them, when she wants to be. He's sparred with her a few times, and he's very glad they're on the same side.

"The Black Lion is amazing, but I will be glad to fly Red again," Keith says. His bond with Black is almost completely faded, but his bond with Red feels stronger now that Lance isn't trying to bond with her, and Keith can feel her purring. "I think she's glad too."

Lance scoffs. "She just doesn't know how to handle a pilot as amazing as me."

Red huffs in irritation. "She's offended," Keith tells Lance.

Lance sighs. "Okay, fine, I take it back."

"Eat your food, dude," Hunk tells Keith, reaching over and nudging him. "Shiro's gonna kill us if we don't make you take care of yourself."

Keith makes a face, but he knows Shiro will give him that disappointed face if he comes out of the cryopod and finds out that Keith hasn't been eating properly. He's so distracted by thoughts of Shiro that he barely tastes the food, which seems a disservice to Hunk's cooking, but Hunk just seems satisfied that he finishes it.

Allura and Lance strike up a conversation, with Hunk and Pidge joining in, but Keith doesn't speak. He's too focused on Shiro. He keeps prodding at his bond with the Black Lion, even though it's almost completely faded. He can still just barely feel her, though, and through the weak bond, she's sending him reassurances that Shiro is alright. The Red Lion is doing her best to reassure him too, feeling calmer than Keith thinks he's ever felt her before.

Then the message from Coran comes through the comms, and Keith scrambles out of his chair before the others have even moved.

"He shouldn't be out for another half a varga, but I thought it was better to call you in early, just in case," Coran says when they all skid to a stop in the infirmary. "The cryopod is fixing all the damage without a problem. He should be fine when he comes out."

"Oh, thank goodness," Allura sighs.

Now that it's so close, Keith can't sit still. He can see the others watching him pace, and he's pretty sure he's irritating them, but he can't stop. He knows Shiro's alright - he's the one who got him out, he's the one who's been seeing him this whole time, he's the one with a connection to Shiro's goddamn Lion - but he still can't shake the worry that something will go wrong.

His heart nearly stops when the cryopod starts to open.

Coran catches Shiro, just like he caught Keith. Shiro's eyes are wide and wild for a moment, then he seems to realize where he is.

"Shiro," Pidge whispers, and she throws herself forward, hitting Shiro hard in the torso and hugging him tightly. The others all swarm towards him too, but Keith holds back a bit. He's already seen Shiro, he's been seeing Shiro this whole time, and he should give the others a chance to reunite.

"Keith?" Shiro asks, looking at him over Pidge's shoulder.

"Get over here, you big emo idiot," Lance says, grabbing Keith's arm and yanking him into the group hug. Keith falls against Allura's back with a startled noise, but Lance and Hunk enfold him into the hug before he can move.

"Don't think you're getting away that easy," Lance says, sounding like he's smirking. Keith's a little worried he might cry if he tries to talk, so he stays silent.

Somehow, they all manage to get into the lounge without really letting go of each other. Everyone ends up in a pile with Shiro in the middle, babbling and chatting happily. Keith still hasn't said a word.

"Keith?" Pidge asks, nudging him. "You okay?"

Keith nods, blinking rapidly. It's not enough to mask the tears that are threatening to fall.

Pidge, to her credit, doesn't say a word. She just shifts over slightly, letting Keith wiggle closer to Shiro. With a bit of maneuvering, Keith ends up pressed against Shiro's side, his head on Shiro's chest.

Shiro looks down at him with a smile. "Hey, Keith."

Keith buries his face in Shiro's chest and finally, _finally_ lets himself cry.

He must fall asleep, because when he next opens his eyes, the lights are dimmed and the others are scattered all around the lounge, sleeping. Shiro is still under him, a blanket covering both of them. "Hey," Shiro whispers when Keith's eyes open. "You feeling better?"

"Sorry I cried all over you," Keith whispers back, his voice little more than a croak.

"From what the others told me after you fell asleep, it sounds like you needed it," Shiro replies. "You were a good leader."

"Never make me do that again," Keith replies fervently.

"I'm sorry I put all of that on you," Shiro says, his hand gently running through Keith's hair. "It wasn't fair."

"It wasn't that," Keith counters. "I mean, I didn't _like_ being the leader that much, but it wasn't that bad. The hard part was that you…"

"That I was gone," Shiro finishes softly when Keith's words fail him.

"Yeah."

"But you got me back," Shiro says, running his hand through Keith's hair again. "You got me out of there, Keith. And I swear to you, I'm going to do everything in my power to never leave any of you again."

"And if anything ever happens like this again, we'll get you back," Keith promises.

Shiro grins at him. "Between both of those, I don't think I'll ever get far."

"Good."

Shiro chokes back his laughter, trying not to wake any of the others. Allura rolls over, but no one else moves.

"The Black Lion really likes you," Shiro remarks offhandedly. "I don't think she ever wants me to leave her again either, but she liked having you as a pilot."

"Tell her I liked flying with her, but I'd rather you be her pilot," Keith replies. He thinks he feels a rumble of amusement from his bond with the Black Lion. "I think we're still bonded, just a little."

"She says you will be," Shiro agrees. "You two deepened your bond a lot to get me out, so it's not ever going to fully go away."

"I don't mind if she doesn't," Keith says.

Shiro grins. "I don't think she does."

Keith grins back. "Nah, I don't think she does either."

"And if anything ever happens to me again, the two of you will be able to find me," Shiro adds.

"Oh, believe me, we will."

Shiro chuckles. He looks around at all of the others, scattered around the room, and he sighs, leaning his head back on the couch. "I'm glad I'm back."

Keith nestles into Shiro's side, closing his eyes. "So am I."


End file.
